This entry is in regards to the few folks who claim that I only praise books. I've been told that I must live by the rule that, if you can't say anything good, don't say anything at all. That's only partially true.
If I were to list all the horrible books I've read recently, I'd have the world's longest blog post. But, here are some highlights from my "crap, why did I read even one page of that" list.
The "Not so Good."
Stephen King wrote this about Jack Ketchum." Who's the scariest guy in America? Probably Jack Ketchum." That may be so....but not for this book.
Mr. Ketchums
Offspring is the sequel to
Off Season(Who'd have thunk it, huh?).
Though, what I read of it was acceptable, I found it lacking greatly. For starters I got the feeling this should have been a stand alone sequel. Meaning that any average schlub off the street should have been able to pick this up without reading the previous
Off Season and enjoyed it. It sounds good on paper(no pun).
I spent the first half dozen chapters wishing I had read the previous novel. I felt as though I had walked into a party of strangers and was expected to catch on to the conversation without any back information. I eventually did but, by then, I had lost interest.
The pacing was my next issue. I enjoy a nice, methodical novel. One that takes its time dissecting your senses. This one did that by going so slowly that I wanted to gouge my eyes out before the middle of the book. There is slow, then there is molasses in the winter. This is somewhere in between.
Lastly, the book just couldn't hold my interest(which is saying a lot). I have plodded through some stinkers before hoping they'd get better. Offspring couldn't even do that.
If you have the chance to pick this book up or an advanced physics book; get the physics book. It'll have a better pace and be more interesting.
The
"Bad"
If I were to pick one word to describe this waste of time it would be predictable. There was nothing about this book that jumped out at me; made me want to read it or even made good reading.
I made it 8 chapters before I gave up. From page one it was a disappointment. Mr Laimo seemed to have cut and pasted the ritual featured in the first few chapters over and over as a filler.
As soon as the main protagonist was introduced, everything about the book fell into place. I found myself thinking" How could anyone get away with putting this many cliches into one book?"
By chapter 8 I had had enough and flipped to the back to see if my guesses about the ending were correct. Yup. 100%. I set the book down and walked away but, like a fungus or rash, it came back.
My 13 year old asked if she could read it. I told her she could and she loved it. So much so that I sent the author a message telling him he should consider writing young adult novels.
His response was that he was surprised anyone would let their child read one of his books because of the contents. He said they were too graphic. No sir, they were written for a child or, rather, childishly.
The
"Ugly"
I have a steadfast 100 page rule. I will give any book 100 pages before I put it up and walk away.
This book has the dubious distinction of holding the record for fastest rejection. Eight pages.
Not only was there a prologue(which I can't stand) Mr. Morris managed to bore me to tears with his never ending description of one man the night his wife gives birth. Eight pages and counting on that thing. Long descriptions may work for King but that's because...well...it's Stephen friggin King!
I read a quote that said Immaculate was Mr. Morris's best work to date. Well, that's not saying too much.
The
"dear lord why did anyone publish this?" 
Where, oh where to begin with this jewel!
How about the prologue that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the rest of the book other than "odd happenings"? I spent the rest of the book looking for the characters to pop back up; references to them or their names. Nada. Zip. Ziltch. What the hell?
The book itself was ok except that Mr. Little passed the line of good taste with the sex scenes involving someone believed to be 11 years old.
There are tactful ways to address those types of scenes without being graphic. I hope Mr. Little eventually finds those ways.
This is also the only book I have ever read all the way through thinking" This HAS to get better at some point, doesn't it?" I've got news for you. It doesn't.
Finally the epilogue. Yep. This book gets us on both ends. And, like the prologue, the epilgoue is completely useless and without merit. It's a waste of space and time. Even more so than the rest of the book.
The
Mildly Annoyed
Now, Anyone who knows me knows that I like Brian Keene. He's a good guy an all around talented human being. This book, however, let me down.
You see, my favorite Keene book is
Fear of Gravity and within those pages we find a short story that chronicles one man's battles, triumphs and defeats in a world that hasn't seen a dry day in quite some time.
Well, halfway through
The Worms we have to read that story again.
For people who've never read the story, it may seem like a nice detour but, for me, it was more of a let down. I felt it had been put there to make a word count. Filler and nothing more.
All in all the book was fine except for that major let down.
The
EndWell, that's it. Happy reading and I hope you never pick up a bad book. But, if you do, don't send it my way!
